segunda-feira, 12 de maio de 2014

Fit not in.

Wondering how OCD, stress, anxiety and Queima/Cortejo would be a disaster? I am.
I'm very glad that I'm not in Coimbra now. I don't care if I have two goddaughters, if my godfather and godmother are there, if if if, I don't care. And I'm not looking forward for next year's Cortejo. Is it okay if I miss "my own" Cortejo?
I'm starting to think Coimbra was a mistake. I still haven't felt the magic, the "encanto" of Coimbra is still a mistery to me.
It seems to me that the "magic" comes out from the alcohol/drugs socialization. I don't drink or do drugs, so there is no excuse for me to go out to bars or discos, nor to dinners or febradas 'cause I don't eat meat either.  I'm also older than most of them. I've also lived more than most of them. I'm the outsider. Is that it? I'm the combination of all the undesired things a "friend" can be. My outside doesn't goes with my inside. I'm way to responsible for what my look tells of me. I'm way too experient for what my age says. I'm way too freaky for what society expects.
Being this unique makes it hard to fit in. Too cool for the nerd kids. Too boring for the wild ones. Too cute to be ignored. Not cute enough to be taken serious. Too young for older people. Too old for my class mates.
Seriously, I need to make those "forever friends" that everybody does in uni. How is it so easy for everybody?
I had a flashback of Miguel smiling and waving at me on last year's Serenata night, and than ignoring me. hmm...
I don't know. Thinking back on that now, I was clearly not comfortable that night.

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