sábado, 25 de junho de 2016

Childrenhood

I don't think parents love their children the same way.
Even if they say they love them all the same way, they don't. You never love two beings the same way. And I know that. I've taken care of kids, and I had my favorites... I also know that money doesn't buy love. My kids loved me for what I was, and I never gave them nothing major. They remember me to the day.
On the being the child side, the missplacement of love from your parents realy affects you. The biggest one is having to win all the battles by yourself, and instead of receiving inspiring words, getting negative input to your aspirations.
I had to win many battles that my brother didn't because I already did, and he doesn't even knows, and doesn't appreciates it.
Like, I'm the child my parents relate to when they need serious stuff done, and my brother is the child they relate to when they want to show love and appreciation. That is in no way fair. And it realy makes me get upset with them. And they don't listen to me. I repeat the same stuff over and over and over again, and they still don't respect what I say.

terça-feira, 21 de junho de 2016

Psychiatric malfunction


Three things about today:Finaly my writters block to write a motivation letter has been unlocked and it was full on speed today!I remembered there are a few song with my name. Whats up with all the songs called Helena? There is even a beautiful blue butterfly called Helena Morpho! Amazing! Tattoo idea!Lastly, I went to a "conference" today and the lady next to me had an about 1 year old baby with her, and, naturaly, babies can't stay still for a long period of time, and this woman, everytime the baby dropped her water bottle or made noise, spanked her by the head.I can not understand in what world a mother bangs her own child in the head, whatever the reason might be, there is no reason to bit up a child, nor anyone.I really want to give her a piece of my mind and tell her "look lady, if you don't know how to treatment them, maybe try not to have them, abortion is legal in our country"And, beside the limited frame of weeks, there is a law that says, and I quote "... em qualquer momento em caso de risco para a grávida ("perigo de morte ou de grave e irreversível lesão para o corpo ou para a saúde física ou psíquica da mulher grávida")..."
Clearly this lady suffers from some sort of psychiatric malfunction, or else she wouldn't spank her child. Everytime a parent spanks his child, should be getting spanked instead.


segunda-feira, 20 de junho de 2016

Selective mutism

So, because I can, I watched a few movies this week, something I haven't done in a long time, because although I am in vacations, I'm really not, and I've been working, working in lots of things, and what has been working the most is my head.
Thinking if it was the right choice.
All I ever wanted was to travel, to live somewhere that is not this place, to move and keep on moving, just staying a few years on each place, but now, I'm 25 and I acepted this job, a job that could be someones dream life job, a job, where you can grow within, a job that will grow with you and take you higher up. But I never wanted this. I never wanted to be a corporate woman. And to turn down such an opportunaty, it just wasn't possible. When will such an opportunaty knock on my door again? Never. But the bigger question is, if it isn't something you want, is it an opportunaty still?

And I wonder, I wonder, Am I doing the right thing?
All I want is to go.
Go. Go somewhere. Go to the future and see where this is bringing me. Go back in time and rethink things.

One of the movies I watched brought me back to a certain time in my life...
Selective mutism is an interesting subject. And I know how it feels. I know the jaw pain of that. Although mine could not be called selective, was more of an indifference mutism.
Somehow, wierd has it can be, I miss it. I miss those feelings.

quinta-feira, 16 de junho de 2016

Dermatillomania

When you only know you are picking because the person you are talking to is looking at your oddly.
:/ ups.

terça-feira, 14 de junho de 2016

No I amn't

Remembering my beloved Mary Therese:
"No I amn't." *being sassy*
Which in fact, is not wrong! Which in it self it is a very interesting subject!

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-amn1.htm

sábado, 11 de junho de 2016

Motherhood and the love/hate relationship with psycology

Is it only me that has problems with my mom? I'm I a rebel, or is it my mother that is on the negative spectrum of bypolar? This can not be normal. I believe I never heard my mother say positive words. I never heard her say "well done" without and irony tone to it. I never heard her say "congratulations on your achievement". I never heard her say "thats really good". And I'm not overrating thing. I'm at the very best under rating it. Today I asked if she is capable of saying positive things, to what she answered "what positive things?"

quinta-feira, 9 de junho de 2016

Histerectomia

A minha mãe acha que usar copo menstrual é mais nojento que usar penso higiénico ou tampão.
Eu penso que o que faz o processo todo ser nojento é o próprio do carmesim escárnio do período a jorrar da vagina de uma mulher todos os mês com absolutamente objetivo nenhum que não o da dor.
Uma coisa que resolvia todo o nojo, seria uma histerectomia

PS: estou a ficar tão melhor a inglês, que tenho de ir procurar a tradução de palavras do inglês para o português porque o meu cérebro não atinge esse nível.

domingo, 5 de junho de 2016

A piada do semestre...

Cenas de episódios anteriores:
Quando pedes a uma prof que sempre foi compreensível, com um mês de antecedência, para fazer a prova oral antes do 1 de Julho porque só tens esse exame para acabar o curso e já encontraste trabalho, e ela te responde "para a próxima veja se está disponível na época designada para exames". Miga, por mim até podia fazer a prova oral antes do exame escrito, quero lá saber.
E tipo, lol, qual próxima vez? Miga, acabou, I'll never see you again mate!
E era o que me faltava negar um emprego porque a universidade decidiu que as aulas acabam em Maio, e os exames são só no fim do mês de Junho... Tipo... Ridículo... Eu não vivo do ar... Não é a universidade que me dá de comer! Sou eu é que lhes pago para me prestarem um serviço, e ainda querem ser ditadores?

A piada do semestre é eu deslocar-me ao gabinete de estágios, pedir o nome do coordenador de estágios, darem-me um nome, enviar um email a esse nome com questões, demorar uma semana a obter uma resposta, e a resposta ser: "Eu sou diretora do curso, mas não coordeno os estágios. Antes de lhe responder a dizer isto mesmo, tentei obter a informação de que precisa, mas não me responderam."

Há lá mais eficiência que esta? Mais uma vez, *palmas* para a FLUC.
Conclusão, devo ter de fazer tudo às três pancadas, mas antes, só mais uma reclamaçãozita...

Enfim, in the meantime, estou no Porto, e vou-me à minha vida. ;)