Should I do something?

      A quarter to 3am. In the middle of the night I continue drawing because I can't sleep.

     Triyn' to figure out the reason I came to architecture, I draw ceaseless the plant of 
arq.Frank Lloyd Wright's «Fallingwater» House.
     Meanwhile I think about her. And it seems that everytime I grab a pencil the more the rush 
to draw comes to hand. Seems like I want to forget her, foolishly tryin' through. 
In this moment is 50-50 my love for both, and I think that the more I submerse
into my world one feelin' doesn't decrease the other. 
     Could it be? That I have the same passion for her, has I have for drawing? 
The touch of the pencil in paper almost seems like touching her...
     «How did I fell for her?» 
The question I keep asking, is the same. 
     «How did I fell for the arts?»
«Why do I like drawing so much?» I've been doin' it since I was a kid!
      Was Ricardo Reis (Fernando Pessoa) that said «the worst feeling one can have is love»?
Love is a parasite, a drug that feeds on us, clouding our judgement.
It makes us feel awesome, and when it hurts we just want the whole world the leave us alone.
I have been hurt from both in times. And still keep getting hurt. 
But it's the passion and love I have that keeps getting me up and do it again.
      Truth is, I'm getting hurt from the things I love, and it is what makes me going
and it rewards me when I get better. One little step at the time.
Now I forget all the questions I ask myself, because all I know is that I love drawing and
I fell for her.
      My only hope, that the passion continues.

28 August 2013