Missing the bus

People say that people change when something major happens to them.
I've had many major things hapenning to me, so I've changed many times.
I first came out of a depression that I only recently discovered I was in back in the days. Following that, i was in a very "abnormal" relationship. Then I went to drugs and came back out. Alcohol followed. Then I started getting sick. And I've been sick since, and I'm only starting to accept now. Accepting that my brain chemicals run around in the other side of the roundabout.
Recently I met a new doctor. He ordered me new x-rays, thats followed with a MRI. He then got very pissed because I was also supposed to do a TAC exam but they scheduled it for september. He then after looking at the MRI ordered a TAC and a biopsy to be done within the next 3 weeks.
When I was going to pay, the lady said I didn't have to pay, and I don't know why. I can only think my tumor is at a level that I'm on the cancerous people list, therefore free  of medical charge. ?
Anyways, after that appointment I deciced to do what people don't advice doing and I Googled biopsy videos, and tumor extraction videos. I had a little panic attack walking out of the hospital and watching those videos.
Today I was meant to go home, and I missed the bus for 1min, I not for one second I felt upset for missing it or losing the money.
And I believe this is to do with another change settling in, I can feel it, like the way I don't drink for years, and the way I stopped caring for things that don't matter, i don't stress out with unnecessary things, or how I don't get so upset when something "bad" happens.