New job, old life.

So, second round of interviews, less ET. Didn't even need to go to round three.
"I had a feeling about you in the first interview. If you want it, the job is yours, starting next month."

*claps*
I haven't even finished my studies and I already have a job.
Was it a good call? Was it a bad call? Only time will tell. But adulthood is here now. Bills and taxes are coming!
Is it what I thought I would do? No.
Is it what I hoped my life would be? No.
But to start with, its good. I can get some experience, I can save some money, and maybe later get back to studying or grow up within the company.
For now, it will do.
Revolution is coming their way!

Now... the other side, there is no traveling involved... I wont be living in a new country like I wish I would. And! there are many good well payed au-pair jobs in Switzerland and Norway calling for me. Literaly calling me.
But I said yes, and that my adventure for now. But! what about Ireland? I miss it sooooo much!

A piece of mind

Enjoy it the best you can, because it wont last forever.

Extra cash ideas

- write a book: on learning languages, on experience, romance?
- set up a website: teach languages, experience,
- tutor on languages, parenting
- organizer
- babysitter
- cleaning lady
- youtube channel
- yoga instrutor
- restore furniture and sell
- etsy
- gardening

http://theworkathomewife.com/13-ways-for-teens-to-work-from-home/

I know lots of people have fights with theirs parents, but my mother, oh boy...

Keep calm and scream on

So, looking for a word of advice here.

How do I keep calm when all I want to do is scream at an unreasonable person?

You don't have the smallest idea of how many times a day I say the same things, over and over again, and that person does it again, and again, and again.

Bezegol - Vida que nunca quis

Querem te apanhar

Sem teres feito nada p’ra fugir

Não querem que queiras cá ficar

Mesmo sem vontade de partir

Eles querem te afastar

Querem-te mandar p’ra outro país

Menos um aqui a contestar

Mais um na vida que nunca quis

Tanta glória, tanta glória

Na história que eu dei na escola

Agora educo o meu filho

Com a glória a pedir esmola

Foi o cabo das tormentas

Cabo da boa esperança

Agora é o cabo dos trabalhos

Para aguentar com a finança

Traz a comida p’ra mesa

E o sorriso p’rá família

Não mostrar a incerteza

De vir a faltar um dia

Fizeram cortes mais cortes

Rebentaram orçamentos

E aumentaram as taxas

Cortaram nossos sustentos

Amigos no restaurante

Inimigos no parlamento

Eles são os iluminados

E nós somos o jumento

Vão abandonando o barco

Como ratos do porão

Mas do barco afundado

Ainda vão tirar pensão

Wikileaks e vatileaks

São heróis da humanidade

Querem meter na prisão

Quem nos vem mostrar a verdade

A verdade é muito pobre

E a mentira endinheirada

Com guita tu tens justiça

Sem guita levas banhada

Querem te apanhar

Sem teres feito nada p’ra fugir

Não querem que queiras cá ficar

Mesmo sem vontade de partir

Eles querem te afastar

Querem-te mandar p’ra outro país

Menos um aqui a contestar

Mais um na vida que nunca quis

Somos do primeiro mundo

A ser comprado por terceiro

Eram todos pobrezinhos

Agora são peito cheio

Nossos putos no interior

Vão à escola sem almoçar

Parlamento gasta o tempo

Para o quem puder adotar

Eu assisto a isto tudo

Tenho de manifestar

O desejo e a vontade

Do povo se organizar

Até perco a poesia

'Tou só a verbalizar

Até pareço um cator pimba

Dos que apetece matar

Desses que estão no sistema

De fazer o povo burro

Juntam à nossa senhora

Para ficar mais orelhudo

As valises de cartão

Voltam a sair do armário

O povo votou no credo

E o credo fez dele otário

Arranja taxa aos amigos

Nem que seja a tocar sinos

E não compram iates

Bwoy, compram submarinos

Depois de fazer merda

Ainda vêm fazer birra

E deixam para nós

A tarefa do “faz-te à vida”

Querem te apanhar

Sem teres feito nada p’ra fugir

Não querem que queiras cá ficar

Mesmo sem vontade de partir

Eles querem te afastar

Querem-te mandar p’ra outro país

Menos um aqui a contestar

Mais um na vida que nunca quis

Bezegol - Fora de lei

Andam-nos a tentar enganar,

aldrabar a roubar, eu sei.

Será que nos vamos aguentar

ou virar uns fora da lei?

É sentires que o teu tempo,

não vale o teu sustento.

É querer olhar de frente

o futuro e o presente

ó senhor presidente.

A multidão num cinema mais um imposto se aproxima

Quantos mais lá virão até eu acabar esta rima.

Comprima o orçamento que já não é nada

e mande a criança p'rá escola com um copo d'água.

Ó pai tramado o que nos está a acontecer?

Tanta glória passada e tanto lixo a aparecer.

Mas vamos explicar à proxima geração,

os espinhos que vivemos cravos da revolução.

Andam a brincar com a nossa vida à tanto tempo

agora são discursos de pesar e de lamento.

Tento, mas eu não me aguento

a ganhar quinhento com uma vida de seiscento.

Tudo tem aumento menos os salários,

são assembleias a fazer de nós otários.

Venham mais salafrarios, chulos aldrabões

quando o mar bate na roxa quem se lixa é os mexilhões.

Andam-nos a tentar enganar,

aldrabar a roubar, eu sei.

Será que nos vamos aguentar

ou virar uns fora da lei?

É sentires que o teu tempo,

não vale o teu sustento.

É querer olhar de frente

o futuro e o presente

ó senhor presidente.

ET

No, it does not stands for Extra-Terrestrial life...

So, I've had these for a while now, but last week, during what was my first ever job interview, with the very owner of an enterprise from London, it happened again, and I felt ashamed at that moment, and the more I try to stop it, the worst it gets, so today I decided to google it, and the result was Essencial Tremor.

Another for my collection... When will this stop? How can I stop it?
Its like, I can see the tunel, but I can see the end of it, I can only imagine it. And it is tiring.

Oh, and anemia, just to spice things up...

Desireless - Voyage Voyage

Au-dessus des vieux volcans, glisse des ailes sous les tapis du vent
Voyage, voyage, éternellement.
De nuages en marécages, de vent d'Espagne en pluie d'équateur
Voyage, voyage, vole dans les hauteurs
Au-d'ssus des capitales, des idées fatales, regarde l'océan.

Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) dans l'espace inouï de l'amour.
Voyage, voyage sur l'eau sacrée d'un fleuve indien (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) et jamais ne reviens.

Sur le Gange ou l'Amazone
Chez les blacks, chez les sikhs, chez les jaunes
Voyage, voyage dans tout le royaume.
Sur les dunes du Sahara, des îles Fidji au Fuji-Yama
Voyage, voyage, ne t'arrête pas.
Au-d'ssus des barbelés, des coeurs bombardés, regarde l'océan.

Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) dans l'espace inouï de l'amour.
Voyage, voyage sur l'eau sacrée d'un fleuve indien (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) et jamais ne reviens.

Au-d'ssus des capitales, des idées fatales, regarde l'océan.

Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) dans l'espace inouï de l'amour.
Voyage, voyage sur l'eau sacrée d'un fleuve indien (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) et jamais ne reviens.
Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour.

Time

Rough times these ones... Harsh to assemble...


Ain't nothing to...
Consciousness...
Clarity...
Meditation...
Restfulness...
Breath in... Breath out...
Go so sleep, forget about today, tomorrow is coming...

Vida e morte são de extrema importância.

Tenho seguido umas "talks" budistas.
A da semana passada chamou-se "Vida e Morte são de extrema importância".

E tudo o que eu não disse e meditei foi:

"Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal."

— Eckhart Tolle (born in 1948)
Spiritual teacher and author

Still, forever, will this sentence calm me down.

"When you walk through a forest that has not been tamed and interfered with by man, you will see not only abundant life all around you, but you will also encounter fallen trees and decaying trunks, rotting leaves and decomposing matter at every step. Wherever you look, you will find death as well as life.

Upon closer scrutiny, however, you will discover that the decomposing tree trunk and rotting leaves not only give birth to new life, but are full of life themselves. Microorganisms are at work. Molecules are rearranging themselves. So death isn’t to be found anywhere. There is only the metamorphosis of life forms. What can you learn from this?"

Low - Lullaby

cross over and turn

feel the spot don't let it burn

we all want we all yearn

be soft don't be stern

lullaby

was not supposed to make you cry

i sang the words i meant

i sang

I think I like bass a lot.

Tipp-ex

I have been having these dreams where I'm studying or writting something, and my Tipp-ex ends, not letting me finish cover-up what I mistakenly wrote. I keep having this dream, and everytime I pick my Tipp-ex to use it in real life, I remember the feeling in the dream of not having more correction tape.
I googled the meaning, but I couldn't find any.
If this was metaphore, I would say I trying to rewrite something and something is not letting me... But what?

When accepting can't be an option.

Last week was a hard one.
Noted.

HOW TO DESTROY ANGELS - BBB

Get down

On the ground

Don't move, make a sound

No more

No control

You do what you're told

Stand up

Sit back down

Your lies

Comes back around

Today

Patronized

Times up

Close your eyes

Listen to the sound of my big black boots

Milk milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made.

Leis portuguesas e a sua estupidez

Será possível que andarmos para trás como o burro do Zé Vaz?
Adopção e casamento homossexual? Aborto? Mas quem raio é que esta gente pensa que é para dizer o que as pessoas podem ou não fazer só porque têm escolhas diferentes! Cambada de panhonhas!

Motherhood comes so natural to me

...p

I wrote a long post about parenthood, but I decided to refrain to the above title.

Castelo n'areia

A vida é complicados. E as escolhas somos nós que as fazemos, seja optar por um novo emprego, um novo amigo ou um novo país. Seja qual for a escolha, quando está tomada, é final.

Hoje o dia foi complicado, foi longo, foi cansativo, foi frustante.
Hoje o dia foi como uma ida a praia. Passei o dia a construir lindos castelos de areia para toda a gente se maravilhar, às vezes uma onda vinha e fazia uma parede ou duas cair, mas eu não desistia, refazia tudo outra vez. Chegou o final do dia e a mare subiu, levou todos os castelos de uma só vez.
Amanhã não me apetece ir construir mais castelos nenhuns...

You are only as amazing as you make yourself

Os ultimos dias de 2015 fizeram de mim uma coisa crescida.

Com o carro do emprego, insignia de 2012, fiz uma viagem da capital do pais para a segunda maior cidade do pais, rebentei um pneu, não entrei em panico, mudei o pneu, e segui a minha viagem de 3h rumo ao meu destino, às 23h, na pior tempestade que ja vi. Dois dias depois fiz a mesma viagem de regresso. Não morri, nem ninguem morreu. Conduzi pela primeira vez para dentro e para fora da capital de um pais (que nao o meu) sem me perder nem panicar.

You are only as happy as your saddest kid. You are only as strong as you make yourself to be.

Down under

Esta semana descobri mais um sintoma relacionado com stress e ansiedade, problemas 'down there'.

Ulceras

Anda ai uma onda de má sorte...
Na viagem desapareceu-me a mala.
Parti uma garrafa de cerveja.
A comida sai-me mal.
Encomendas online todas trocas, mais perdas de dinheiro...
Tá difícil de arranjar o candeeiro.
Pesadelos todas as noites, é raptos, é perdas, é assaltos, é mortes, é sangue, é tudo!

Comem-me o figado.

Ansiedade

Há pessoas que não percebem como a ansiedade pode ser incapacitante.
Primeiro, evito ir a certos sítios e forço-me a ir a tantos outros. Muitas vezes penso "não quero ir" e depois penso "tenho de ir" quando o que devia pensar era "awesome, vamos lá".
Depois, enquanto lá ando, fico paranóica com o que as outras pessoas dizem, e enervo-me com tanto disparate. E depois sinto que está tudo muito lento, ou serei eu que ando muito acelerada? E fico só com metade do ar.
Tenho frequência daqui a dois dias, e ando há três dias com um pequeno enjoo e com falta de ar. Será que é ansiedade por causa do teste? Eu nem sequer me consigo concentrar para estudar. Cada vez que penso em abrir o caderno dá-me o sono.

Scams

A few weeks ago I set up a goal, I decided to post a pic a day on deviantArt and one pic a day on Instagram, to write something meaningful in my diary at least once a week, and to post at least once a week something in here. All thing must be different. I've been keeping up with my goal.

This weeks post is about scams.
I think that in live we are scamed multiple times, by companies, by shops, by products, by institutions, by people, by ourselfs (that one is probably called self sabotage). Never the less, we can find scams everywhere.
Recently "black friday" scamed many people in beliving they were saving up by buying on that day. I did try to find some good deals on black friday, but what I found were scams, so I ended up not buying anything but an Hymalian salt lamp.

I also found that even when you are not the "victim" of a scam, if you still feel like it was scam, you will believe it was a scam.

A few days ago I went to Lisbon to an OCD specialized clinic to get a diagnoses.
Surprisingly, the clinic was located on a social neighbourhood, with lots of grafities and broken cars, and although I'm not racist or xenofob, I did see a lot of gypsies, africans, arabians and turquish people on the street in the middle of the day doing nothing. The looks of the place were not the best either...  First, they didn't have a big enough sign for me to spot the clinic right away. Then when I finally found it didn't have the look of a clinic. The front desk and the back office were both in an open hall, where I met some shady looking people standing around. I did look for some sort of certificate on the walls and the diploma from the doctor on her office, but I didn't see anything relevant nor anything that couldn't be forged/part of the farce. And the most noticeable thing on the wall was the map of the metro... Why?
Now if we take in mind that that clinic requires a 40euros montly associate payment, plus 50euros for the diagnoses appointment and 25euros for each of the next terapeutic sessions, which occur every week, I would expect something way more fancy.
And the doctor that made my diagnoses didn't started the appointment by explaining me what the clinic does nor handing me out a formular for me to fill in with my data. She made me some questions, but never took note of my answers, and at the end she did spent about 15mins explaining to me how import it was (or is) for me to be an associate of their clinic so I can benefit from all their terapeutic offers.

Now, there's two options, either they really are a proper clinic or they aren't. And on that hand, I'm either OCD and paranoid or a very suspicious person, or both.

Now with all that info in mind, (scam, OCD, terapy, money) I have to figure out what to do, and I started with writing this down while meditating on the subjet. Maybe I should write to Becca and ask her what she thinks.

How to overcome trust issues?
Trusting...

my 4.intro

intro from EverAgain on Myspace.

Morde o próprio rabo

Epá, estou cansada. Estou cansada disto e desta gente. Estou cansada deste sítio e deste tempo.
É um circulo, que morde o próprio rabo. E que fazer? Está preso, não se pode fazer muito quando a prisão é mandatória.
Não sou escrava de ninguém, e estou cansada, muito.

What makes someone fall in love, and stay in love.

1 - hormones
2 - simillarities
3 - age
4 - body
5 - voice
6 - adventure
7 - hot chocolate
8 - money
9 - pets
10 - first impression
11 - walking
12 - fakeness

13 - looks
14 - smile
15 - music


And none of the above are Love. 

Why do I love X and not Y? Why do you love Z and not W?

Negative compliments

On the other hand, o Márcio said I look smarter, meaning, he thought I was dumb before... GREAT!
Ao menos os anos servem para isso, para receber bons elogios...

Pessoal - Pessoa de Portugal

Para ser grande, sê inteiro: nada 
Teu exagera ou exclui. 
Sê todo em cada coisa. Põe quanto és 
No mínimo que fazes. 
Assim em cada lago a lua toda 
Brilha, porque alta vive. 

Fernando Pessoa

Moloko - Forever More

In some very well put words

my-hair-was-thinning-at-an-alarming-rate-heres-what-i-did

Sometimes charing is a good thing.

Last week I went to a course on Strees and anxiety management, I didn't really learn anything new, but it was good to see that there are others that feel something similar to what I feel, thou most people didn't have half the symptoms I have.

I think my goal on this stress jorney is to make an awerness book. I still haven't found the way, but I want to make one.

Aceitação passou a ser um mantra

Os últimos dias tem sido maus...
Pela primeira vez na vida deixei-me dormir.
Pela primeira vez na vida esqueci-me da carteira (andei a conduzir sem documentos).
Pela primeira vez na vida esqueci-me das chaves de casa.
Problemas de dinheiros.
Problemas de convívio.
Mais peladas.
Mais resultados médicos negativos.
Mais pensamentos negativos.
Mais vontade de desistir.
Menos força para combater.
Menos vontade  de ser.

Ask yourself

1. Why am I doing what I'm currently doing?
2. If I continue doing what I'm doing, what kind of person will I be in five years?
3. What do I wish I spent more time doing?
4. What do other people always thank me for?
5. What completely absorbs my interest and attention?
6. What do I need to do to truly enjoy my work and effectively lead others?
7. What weight am I carrying that prevents me from moving forward?
8. What dream do I need to start moving toward?
9. When did I feel like I was being completely authentic?
10. How do I know when I'm being completely authentic?
11. When do I constantly have to adapt and act like I'm someone else?
12. Where will I end up if I continue to show the world a facade and keep underutilizing my strengths?
13. When was the last time I lit myself up and turned my energy on?

Todos os dias são uma lição.

Presents.

I was thinking on xmas presents, and the list begins:

- A nice xmas post card;
- Pandora bracelet and beads;
- Wooden brush;
- Mugs and tea pot;
- Beard trimmer;
- Books;
- Board games;
- Make-up;
- Socks;
- Lady cups;
- Craft supplies;
- Iphone case;
- Elephants;
- Jewerlry;
- Camping equipment;
- Marmelada;
- Queijo da serra;
- Azeite galo;
- Vinho do porto;
- Chouriças;
- Agua-ardente;
- Jeropiga;
- Bolachas de areia;
- Bolo de bolacha;
-

Paralelismo

Ontem coise. Deu-me nostalgias e fui falar com exs. Não aprendo lição nenhuma eu...
O Γεώργιος e os seus magníficos olhos azuis, cabelo preto de metro, pele translúcida, 2m de altura e as suas artes marciais está substancialmente menos esquelético. Nunca percebi o que se escondia por trás daqueles olhos, a minha perdição.
Acho que é hoje que tomo a decisão de nunca mais lhe falar... Nunca foi coisa boa, nunca dá coisa boa, nunca vai ser coisa boa. Discutimos sempre. S-e-m-p-r-e. Há 6 anos que sempre que falamos discutimos, se não é porque chove é porque faz vento. Não me faz falta nenhuma falar-lhe. Falar-lhe só me lembra da incrível lição de vida que retirei daquela relação, que faz parte de um pouco da pessoa que hoje sou, mas que não me define. Falar-lhe só me leva a revisitar dark places, os quais não quero mais.
Às vezes gostava de voltar atrás no tempo. Não para emendar nada, só para reviver com mais calma, com mais consciência, com mais sabedoria. Talvez as coisas fossem diferentes. Num universo paralelo se calhar são.

Life is to be lived - 2012 - Tallinn right after getting my lip piercing

Life is to be lived - 2013 - Driving a friends Mercedes

New Moon rising

《Quero ser teu amigo.
Nem demais e nem de menos.
Nem tão longe e nem tão perto.
Na medida mais precisa que eu puder.
Mas amar-te sem medida e ficar na tua vida, 
Da maneira mais discreta que eu souber.
Sem tirar-te a liberdade, sem jamais te sufocar.
Sem forçar a tua vontade.
Sem falar, quando for a hora de calar,
E sem calar, quando for hora de falar.
Nem ausente, nem presente por demais.
Simplesmente, calmamente, ser-te paz.
É bonito ser amigo, mas confesso : é tão difícil aprender!
E por isso te suplico paciência.
Vou encher este teu rosto de lembranças,
Dá-me tempo de acertar nossas distâncias...》

Fernando Pessoa

There's never a dull day in life

Stress stress stress. Speak. Stress stress stress. Japonês. Stress!

Sinopse:
A história de uma rapariga que nas duas ultimas semanas foi quase todos os dias a médicos diferentes.
Parece que o tumor da mão está pior e parece que está a aparecer na perna.
Parece que tenho um lump na boob direita.
Período de mês e meio.
Mais peladas.
Sem casa. Sem yoga. Sem trabalho. E com muito stress.


Por isso, como a vida me parece que está a andar para trás, o melhor é andar para a frente.
E por isso, aproveito todas as oportunidades que tenho para viver. Ontem, foi descer o rio de canoa :)
Amanhã é aprender japonês.
Depois de amanhã é dar aula de português.

Home is where the heart is

Eu viajo porque ando à procura de casa.

71 reason why traveling will do stuff to you:

1. You will become a target for Instagram envy - I have no insta
2. You will make too many friends - and they are too far away
3. Your outlook on life will become annoyingly positive
4. You will develop an inability to contain routine - yes...
5. Your hard drive will become full - many hard drives
6. Your idea of "happiness" will change - thank you love
7. For the men - you will grow a magnificent beard - yes!
8. You will engage in public nudity - topless in monaco!
9. "Boring" will cease to exist in your vocabulary - but it does, when Im home...
10. "Dignity" will cease to exist in your vocabulary - depends on ones dignity definition
11. Your parents will begin to worry about your life decisions - so true
12. You will never find satisfaction again and upon your return home will conquer marathons, watch the travel channel and learn a new language. This will never be enough. You will want more. - yoga, sign language, baking, coloring...
13. Your definition of "success" will change - totally
14. Your taste buds will change - sushi and rubarhb!
15. Public Sex will become acceptable - not too public, no doging!
16. Don't forget to factor in the cost of a new passport after filling in your current one with stamps - money money money
17. You will develop an endless list of hobbies that will leave you with little time to watch TV - read, bake, color, make, walk, look, fix, think
18. Your Candy Crush status will reach an all time low - never had 
19. Your online farm animals will die - never had
20. You will lose an appreciation for material items - yes, im packing lighter and lighter
21. Your beer drinking skills will attract disgust when you get back home - no drinking for almost 3 years :)
22. Your career goals will change to pursue your passion and may result in less income - oh so much!
23. Your google maps will become lonely - i miss him too, and i promise to visit
24. You will attract Facebook Envy - that i do not know
25. You will learn to swear in another language - Perkele!
26. You will feel like you can no longer relate to people at home - 17th back here
27. Your Facebook news feed will be difficult to understand due to an influx of different languages - kyllae
28. You will become detached from your iphone - yes, dont even have peoples numbers
29. You may lose some friends due to jealousy - really?
30. Your dance skills will be compared to the majestic moves of Michael Jackson - irish set dancing!
31. Your definition of "home" will change - no home for me now
32. You will fall in love with a new person each week - true
33. You will never EVER be able to live alone again - cats cats cats
34. You will become sexier - Echt?
35. Your goal to buy a house will either be postponed by 5 years or will become non existent
36. You will find it hard to not be surrounded by large groups of people - i love my lots
37. You will start to collect "things" - dummies, sand washed glass, flags, pictures, memories, maps and tickets and leaflets
38. You may contract a STI - I think not.
39. You will have a broader understanding of the world - sadly yes
40. Your ability to adapt to new surroundings will make you more employable which will result in an influx of job offers - i hope so!
41. You will make friends with every single person you meet - almost true
42. You will develop a new found sense of creativity that will need to be fulfilled - coloring, making, remakig, building, fixing, painting
43. You will become one of those annoying people that can play an instrument - maybe next year?
44. Upon your return you will realise that your accent can no longer be used to pull the opposite sex - was that a technic?
45. You will find yourself taking more afternoon naps than usual - i wish i'd take more
46. You will care too much for people and current affairs - after all, ignorance is bliss - they say im a kind person
47. You will care too much about nature and will have to begin recycling - ich vermiss mein Fahrrad
48. Your new need to break comfort zones will result in a life filled with crazy adventures - Skygarden, freefall, hitchhike
49. You will never experience the luxury of a hotel again as you will have a couch to sleep on all over the world - surfing :)
50. You'll find yourself in situations you never dreamed imaginable - oh yes, and some dangerous ones!
51. You will become ridiculously good at beer pong which will result in more drunken nights than anticipated - no interest on drinking
52. You will forever have a ticklish urge burning at the back of your brain - true
53. Your sense of time will change and getting home at sunrise will seem 'normal' to you - at sunrise, sunset, midday, when ever, if im going home, its good
54. You will have a sudden urge to explore your own country or continent - always
55. The meaning of life will change - it does
56. You will be the centre of attention at every party - nooooooo
57. When you return home to a 9 to 5 job you will question your very existence - somedays... and then i remember who i am
58. You will be extremely good at cooking on a budget - and using leftover on magical ways
59. You will become accustomed to wearing odd socks - never! i will never match unfriendly socks!
60. You will be less influenced by other people's thoughts - never was much
61. Upon your return your friends will be overwhelmed by your sudden urge to try new things - mesmerized maybe?
62. Your definition of "distance" will change - 4h drive? a great ride.
63. Your style will become a little more individual - no ironing and holes does the trick?
64. You might be called 'weird' upon your return home - always
65. You will develop a new appreciation for books - airports and books were meant to get married.
66. You will develop the ability to instantly assess whether or not a new person is worth getting to know - yes, that fast!
67. You will become more patient - so much more.
68. You will become really good at living without the stresses of money and this will worry your parents - "do you need money?" what for? Food not Bombs
69. Your ability to solve problems and overcome barriers will reach an all time high and friends will begin to rely on you in sticky situations - logical sequence is the answer for everything
70. When you get home you will struggle to come to terms with the idea that day drinking is unacceptable - don't drink, but yes, i like the day drinking rampage
71. You might actually find yourself living your life - SIM!

Ruby blue

When everybody is having fun, and you are like "stranded"...
So it seams that I didn't whent to any festival or party this summer...
Lame me... I feel like my summer was a waste of time...

Consanguinidade

Quando o pessoal lá da terrinha não sai da cepa torta, and I'm like, "oh bitch please..."
É só a mim que parece que quando se namora entre o pessoal da terrinha, parece que andam tudo a papar os próprios primos?
Enfim...

Exercicing again

Last night (23h) I went for a jog around the canal. When I got home I stretched and did yoga.
Today (19h) I went for a walk with the baby on the boggie and the doggie.
Tomorrow I might go to the swimming pool.
By xmas I have to be fitter.

Das OCD lied

Das ist wie andere Leute sieht OCD, "Das bisschen Haushalt macht sich von allein"

my OCD mantras

I shall not clean. I shall not clean. I shall not clean. I shall not clean... Not again. Not once more. Not just this once. No. I shall not clean.

Still I feel stressed and I really want to cry and clean. Its like when you build the most amazing lego construction, and a baby walks on it... You feel sad, and desperate, and see all that hard work go to waste, but you can't blaim the baby, and you know they didn't meant it, but still, it feels like shit to have to do it all over again...

Bad weed, bad weeds

Very hard couple of days...
I was very crossed yesterday... Very crossed... Selfarm kind of crossed... And I actually did it...
Very bad couple of days...
I was realy very crossed yesterday... I think I've never been so crossed... And why? Because I was waiting a full year for this day, and when it came, once again, because of other people's hungover, I spend yet another day cleaning. And that's not because I'm OCD, that's because the house really needed to be cleaned, not that I mad a mess of it... But that's all I've been doing, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning... I don't mind doing it when it has to be done, but it just gets me so tired to have to clean after other's mess, specially when that makes my days go to waste, and when they don't appreciate it and don't even notice. I even waste my time taking their bad weeds out of their garden, but they don't even say thanks....
I don't know how they don't see how they waste their amazing summer days staying in all day because they had too many cans the night before...
I was very crossed, and I still am, because they don't realise how that makes me feel, how stressed and tired I feel, how I spend the entiry week waiting for the weekend, and when it is here, its shit, because I have to spend it cleaning...  I'm sad now.
Plus the fucking future ex-landlord decided that after 4month of promesing us an appartment, he ain't got one. So now, after believing I had a great place for next school year for the last 4 month, I ain't got shit. I really want to kick him in the nuts...

I felt in love while travelling

With the sun and the wind.
With the rain and the rainbow.
With the nature and the landscape.
With the smells and colours.
With the shapes and shades.