Hogwash

Hoje estou com ranting na ponta dos dedos. Consigo-o sentir fizzy popping dentro de mim.
À medida que crescemos descobrimos muitas coisas acerca de nós próprios, dos outros e do mundo.
Sem querer levantar os suspeitos do costume, mas levantando, há coisas que se desenrolam debaixo da pele, por dentro dos ossos, as quais consigo agora sentir e identificar a causa. E o que não é melhor que o riso que o silêncio?

Posts parvos destes fazem mais falta aqui, para daqui a dez anos os ler e pensar ''que parvo, ah''.

Hot drop

Beautiful Ireland, my second home, how I missed your kindness, humor, chocolate covered raisens, rocky road and hot drops.

Fink - This is the thing

I don't know if you notice anything different

It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long

And I don't know if you even notice at all

That I'm long gone babe I'm long gone

And the things that keep us apart

Keep me alive

And the things that keep me alive

Keep me alone

This is the thing

This is the thing

This is the thing

I don't know if you notice anything missing

Like the leaves on the trees or my clothes all over the floor

And I don't know if you even notice at all

Cause I was real quiet when I closed the door

And the things that keep us apart

Keep me alive

And the things that keep me alive

Keep me alone

This is the thing

This is the thing

This is the thing

And I don't know if you notice anything different

I don't know if you even notice at all

And I don't know if you notice anything missing

This is the thing

This is the thing

This is the thing

This is the thing

This is the thing

Turns

And life takes another turn, but this time, I know where it is going.

Disturbed - Stupify

Yeah, bringing you another disturbing creation

From the mind of one sick animal who can't tell the difference

And gets stupefied

I've been waiting my whole life for just one, fuck

And all I needed was just one, fuck

How can you say that you don't give a, fuck

I find myself stupefied, coming back again

All I wanted was just one, fuck

One tiny little innocent, fuck

And when I feel like I'm shit out of, Luck

I find my stupefied, coming back again

Why, do you like playing around with

My, narrow scope of reality

I, can feel it all start slipping

I think I'm breaking down

And why, do you like playing around with

My, narrow scope of reality

I, can feel it all start slipping away

See but I don't get it

Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit

Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it

I get stupefied

It's all the same you see

Live with it but I don't get it

Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit

Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it

I get stupefied

I get stupefied

All the people in the left wing, fuck

And all the people in the right wing, fuck

And all the people in the underground, fuck

I find myself stupefied, coming back again

All the people in the high rise, fuck

And all the people in the projects, fuck

And all la gente in the bario, fuck

I find myself stupefied, coming back again

Why, do you like playing around with

My, narrow scope of reality

I, can feel it all start slipping

I think I'm breaking down

Why, do you like playing around with

My, narrow scope of reality

I, can feel it all start slipping away

See but I don't get it

Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit

Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it

I get stupefied

It's all the same you see

Live with it but I don't get it

Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit

Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it

I get stupefied

I get stupefied

Tifached

Tifached

And don't deny me

No baby now, don't deny me

And darlin' don't be afraid

Well, I don't get it

Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit

Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it

I get stupefied

Look in my face, stare in my soul

I begin to stupify

Look in my face, stare in my soul

I begin to stupify

Look in my face, stare in my soul

I begin to stupify

Look in my face, stare in my soul

I begin to stupify

Look in my face, step in my soul

Look in my face, step in my soul

Look in my face, step in my soul

Look in my face, step in my soul

Look in my face, step in my soul

Look in my face, stare into my soul

Look in my face, stare into my soul

I begin to stupify, ah

Zebra one, zebra two

Just 'cause the day was going too good, the universe had to balance it by having me getting ran over on a zebra crossing, last tuesday.

Oh life, just making it very interesting.

wait...

There is nothing else to do here but wait... two very long days waiting.

Oncology aisle is just so depressing. I saw what the future might be preparing me for.
At least there is (very slow) wi-fi. Smart me brought a book.

Are ye just calling to have the chats, are ye?

Today, on the job, something amazing happened. I laugh so much I cryed!
I call a place, and a lady answered:
"Hello, my name is Sarah, can I take your account number?
me: "I don't have one."
Sarah: "Could I have your phone number then?"
me: "I don't have one either. I don't have an account with you company."
Sarah: "Oh, are ye calling just to have the chats, are ye?"
Me and Sarah: *ahhahahha* - huge laugh from both ends
Me: "no, sorry Sarah, I'm calling because of X and Y"
Sarah: "Alright, I'll see what I can do for ye"
...
Sarah: "Thank you mam, is there anything else I might help you with?"
Me: "Actually Sarah, you can. Are you Irish?"
Sarah: "*haha* Yes I'm indeed, from Cork County."
Me: "*haha* Oh I knew it Sarah, I recognized the accent, I've lived in Cork myself."
Sarah: "*ahha* Lovely! Is there anything else?"
Me: "No Sarah, thank you, I had a great laugh with you, thank you!"
Sarah: "*ahaha* You are welcome, you made me laugh too!"
Me: "It was loving talking to you, it made my day. Thank you. Have a lovely weekend!"
Sarah: "You too, bye!"

Wanderlust

After all the places I've lived in, after all the adventures I've had, after all the things I've seen, me, where I now, doesn't feels right, doesn't feel like myself. And "+ 24h" has been helping, but wont fix this feeling, this wanderlust.

Life

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam - unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

God Is An Astonaut - Echoes

The Doobies Brothers - It keeps you running

Weeks new band obsech.

Missing the bus

People say that people change when something major happens to them.
I've had many major things hapenning to me, so I've changed many times.
I first came out of a depression that I only recently discovered I was in back in the days. Following that, i was in a very "abnormal" relationship. Then I went to drugs and came back out. Alcohol followed. Then I started getting sick. And I've been sick since, and I'm only starting to accept now. Accepting that my brain chemicals run around in the other side of the roundabout.
Recently I met a new doctor. He ordered me new x-rays, thats followed with a MRI. He then got very pissed because I was also supposed to do a TAC exam but they scheduled it for september. He then after looking at the MRI ordered a TAC and a biopsy to be done within the next 3 weeks.
When I was going to pay, the lady said I didn't have to pay, and I don't know why. I can only think my tumor is at a level that I'm on the cancerous people list, therefore free  of medical charge. ?
Anyways, after that appointment I deciced to do what people don't advice doing and I Googled biopsy videos, and tumor extraction videos. I had a little panic attack walking out of the hospital and watching those videos.
Today I was meant to go home, and I missed the bus for 1min, I not for one second I felt upset for missing it or losing the money.
And I believe this is to do with another change settling in, I can feel it, like the way I don't drink for years, and the way I stopped caring for things that don't matter, i don't stress out with unnecessary things, or how I don't get so upset when something "bad" happens.

Childrenhood

I don't think parents love their children the same way.
Even if they say they love them all the same way, they don't. You never love two beings the same way. And I know that. I've taken care of kids, and I had my favorites... I also know that money doesn't buy love. My kids loved me for what I was, and I never gave them nothing major. They remember me to the day.
On the being the child side, the missplacement of love from your parents realy affects you. The biggest one is having to win all the battles by yourself, and instead of receiving inspiring words, getting negative input to your aspirations.
I had to win many battles that my brother didn't because I already did, and he doesn't even knows, and doesn't appreciates it.
Like, I'm the child my parents relate to when they need serious stuff done, and my brother is the child they relate to when they want to show love and appreciation. That is in no way fair. And it realy makes me get upset with them. And they don't listen to me. I repeat the same stuff over and over and over again, and they still don't respect what I say.

Psychiatric malfunction

Three things about today:Finaly my writters block to write a motivation letter has been unlocked and it was full on speed today!I remembered there are a few song with my name. Whats up with all the songs called Helena? There is even a beautiful blue butterfly called Helena Morpho! Amazing! Tattoo idea!Lastly, I went to a "conference" today and the lady next to me had an about 1 year old baby with her, and, naturaly, babies can't stay still for a long period of time, and this woman, everytime the baby dropped her water bottle or made noise, spanked her by the head.I can not understand in what world a mother bangs her own child in the head, whatever the reason might be, there is no reason to bit up a child, nor anyone.I really want to give her a piece of my mind and tell her "look lady, if you don't know how to treatment them, maybe try not to have them, abortion is legal in our country"And, beside the limited frame of weeks, there is a law that says, and I quote "... em qualquer momento em caso de risco para a grávida ("perigo de morte ou de grave e irreversível lesão para o corpo ou para a saúde física ou psíquica da mulher grávida")..."
Clearly this lady suffers from some sort of psychiatric malfunction, or else she wouldn't spank her child. Everytime a parent spanks his child, should be getting spanked instead.

Selective mutism

So, because I can, I watched a few movies this week, something I haven't done in a long time, because although I am in vacations, I'm really not, and I've been working, working in lots of things, and what has been working the most is my head.
Thinking if it was the right choice.
All I ever wanted was to travel, to live somewhere that is not this place, to move and keep on moving, just staying a few years on each place, but now, I'm 25 and I acepted this job, a job that could be someones dream life job, a job, where you can grow within, a job that will grow with you and take you higher up. But I never wanted this. I never wanted to be a corporate woman. And to turn down such an opportunaty, it just wasn't possible. When will such an opportunaty knock on my door again? Never. But the bigger question is, if it isn't something you want, is it an opportunaty still?

And I wonder, I wonder, Am I doing the right thing?
All I want is to go.
Go. Go somewhere. Go to the future and see where this is bringing me. Go back in time and rethink things.

One of the movies I watched brought me back to a certain time in my life...
Selective mutism is an interesting subject. And I know how it feels. I know the jaw pain of that. Although mine could not be called selective, was more of an indifference mutism.
Somehow, wierd has it can be, I miss it. I miss those feelings.

Dermatillomania

When you only know you are picking because the person you are talking to is looking at your oddly.
:/ ups.

No I amn't

Remembering my beloved Mary Therese:
"No I amn't." *being sassy*
Which in fact, is not wrong! Which in it self it is a very interesting subject!

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-amn1.htm

Motherhood and the love/hate relationship with psycology

Is it only me that has problems with my mom? I'm I a rebel, or is it my mother that is on the negative spectrum of bypolar? This can not be normal. I believe I never heard my mother say positive words. I never heard her say "well done" without and irony tone to it. I never heard her say "congratulations on your achievement". I never heard her say "thats really good". And I'm not overrating thing. I'm at the very best under rating it. Today I asked if she is capable of saying positive things, to what she answered "what positive things?"

Histerectomia

A minha mãe acha que usar copo menstrual é mais nojento que usar penso higiénico ou tampão.
Eu penso que o que faz o processo todo ser nojento é o próprio do carmesim escárnio do período a jorrar da vagina de uma mulher todos os mês com absolutamente objetivo nenhum que não o da dor.
Uma coisa que resolvia todo o nojo, seria uma histerectomia

PS: estou a ficar tão melhor a inglês, que tenho de ir procurar a tradução de palavras do inglês para o português porque o meu cérebro não atinge esse nível.

A piada do semestre...

Cenas de episódios anteriores:
Quando pedes a uma prof que sempre foi compreensível, com um mês de antecedência, para fazer a prova oral antes do 1 de Julho porque só tens esse exame para acabar o curso e já encontraste trabalho, e ela te responde "para a próxima veja se está disponível na época designada para exames". Miga, por mim até podia fazer a prova oral antes do exame escrito, quero lá saber.
E tipo, lol, qual próxima vez? Miga, acabou, I'll never see you again mate!
E era o que me faltava negar um emprego porque a universidade decidiu que as aulas acabam em Maio, e os exames são só no fim do mês de Junho... Tipo... Ridículo... Eu não vivo do ar... Não é a universidade que me dá de comer! Sou eu é que lhes pago para me prestarem um serviço, e ainda querem ser ditadores?

A piada do semestre é eu deslocar-me ao gabinete de estágios, pedir o nome do coordenador de estágios, darem-me um nome, enviar um email a esse nome com questões, demorar uma semana a obter uma resposta, e a resposta ser: "Eu sou diretora do curso, mas não coordeno os estágios. Antes de lhe responder a dizer isto mesmo, tentei obter a informação de que precisa, mas não me responderam."

Há lá mais eficiência que esta? Mais uma vez, *palmas* para a FLUC.
Conclusão, devo ter de fazer tudo às três pancadas, mas antes, só mais uma reclamaçãozita...

Enfim, in the meantime, estou no Porto, e vou-me à minha vida. ;)

Slowmows

I've been watching youtube videos in 2x(double) speed, and when I slow it down it just sounds to slow, like I'm listening to a person thats high, it even gives me that the slowmows (you feel everything is in slow motion, sort of like what you get when you are drunk).

ET

I had ET yesterday in the experiment and today in French class... And it felt very embarrasing...

Francis Cabrel - Je l'aime a mourir

Moi je n'étais rien 
Et voilà qu'aujourd'hui 
Je suis le gardien 
Du sommeil de ses nuits 
Je l'aime à mourir 
Vous pouvez détruire 
Tout ce qu'il vous plaira 
Elle n'a qu'à ouvrir 
L'espace de ses bras 
Pour tout reconstruire 
Pour tout reconstruire 
Je l'aime à mourir 

Elle a gommé les chiffres 
Des horloges du quartier 
Elle a fait de ma vie 
Des cocottes en papier 
Des éclats de rire 
Elle a bâti des ponts 
Entre nous et le ciel 
Et nous les traversons 
À chaque fois qu'elle 
Ne veut pas dormir 
Ne veut pas dormir 
Je l'aime à mourir 

Elle a dû faire toutes les guerres 
Pour être si forte aujourd'hui 
Elle a dû faire toutes les guerres 
De la vie 
Et l'amour aussi 

Elle vit de son mieux 
Son rêve d'opaline 
Elle danse au milieu 
Des forêts qu'elle dessine 
Je l'aime à mourir 

Elle porte des rubans 
Qu'elle laisse s'envoler 
Elle me chante souvent 
Que j'ai tort d'essayer 
De les retenir 
De les retenir 
Je l'aime à mourir 

Pour monter dans sa grotte 
Cachée sous les toits 
Je dois clouer des notes 
À mes sabots de bois 
Je l'aime à mourir 
Je dois juste m'asseoir 
Je ne dois pas parler 
Je ne dois rien vouloir 
Je dois juste essayer 
De lui appartenir 
De lui appartenir 
Je l'aime à mourir 

Elle a dû faire toutes les guerres 
Pour être si forte aujourd'hui 
Elle a dû faire toutes les guerres 
De la vie, et l'amour aussi 

Moi je n'étais rien 
Et voilà qu'aujourd'hui 
Je suis le gardien 
Du sommeil de ses nuits 
Je l'aime à mourir 
Vous pouvez détruire 
Tout ce qu'il vous plaira 
Elle n'aura qu'à ouvrir 
L'espace de ses bras 
Pour tout reconstruire 
Pour tout reconstruire 
Je l'aime à mourir

New job, old life.

So, second round of interviews, less ET. Didn't even need to go to round three.
"I had a feeling about you in the first interview. If you want it, the job is yours, starting next month."

*claps*
I haven't even finished my studies and I already have a job.
Was it a good call? Was it a bad call? Only time will tell. But adulthood is here now. Bills and taxes are coming!
Is it what I thought I would do? No.
Is it what I hoped my life would be? No.
But to start with, its good. I can get some experience, I can save some money, and maybe later get back to studying or grow up within the company.
For now, it will do.
Revolution is coming their way!

Now... the other side, there is no traveling involved... I wont be living in a new country like I wish I would. And! there are many good well payed au-pair jobs in Switzerland and Norway calling for me. Literaly calling me.
But I said yes, and that my adventure for now. But! what about Ireland? I miss it sooooo much!

A piece of mind

Enjoy it the best you can, because it wont last forever.

Extra cash ideas

- write a book: on learning languages, on experience, romance?
- set up a website: teach languages, experience,
- tutor on languages, parenting
- organizer
- babysitter
- cleaning lady
- youtube channel
- yoga instrutor
- restore furniture and sell
- etsy
- gardening

http://theworkathomewife.com/13-ways-for-teens-to-work-from-home/

I know lots of people have fights with theirs parents, but my mother, oh boy...

Keep calm and scream on

So, looking for a word of advice here.

How do I keep calm when all I want to do is scream at an unreasonable person?

You don't have the smallest idea of how many times a day I say the same things, over and over again, and that person does it again, and again, and again.

Bezegol - Vida que nunca quis

Querem te apanhar

Sem teres feito nada p’ra fugir

Não querem que queiras cá ficar

Mesmo sem vontade de partir

Eles querem te afastar

Querem-te mandar p’ra outro país

Menos um aqui a contestar

Mais um na vida que nunca quis

Tanta glória, tanta glória

Na história que eu dei na escola

Agora educo o meu filho

Com a glória a pedir esmola

Foi o cabo das tormentas

Cabo da boa esperança

Agora é o cabo dos trabalhos

Para aguentar com a finança

Traz a comida p’ra mesa

E o sorriso p’rá família

Não mostrar a incerteza

De vir a faltar um dia

Fizeram cortes mais cortes

Rebentaram orçamentos

E aumentaram as taxas

Cortaram nossos sustentos

Amigos no restaurante

Inimigos no parlamento

Eles são os iluminados

E nós somos o jumento

Vão abandonando o barco

Como ratos do porão

Mas do barco afundado

Ainda vão tirar pensão

Wikileaks e vatileaks

São heróis da humanidade

Querem meter na prisão

Quem nos vem mostrar a verdade

A verdade é muito pobre

E a mentira endinheirada

Com guita tu tens justiça

Sem guita levas banhada

Querem te apanhar

Sem teres feito nada p’ra fugir

Não querem que queiras cá ficar

Mesmo sem vontade de partir

Eles querem te afastar

Querem-te mandar p’ra outro país

Menos um aqui a contestar

Mais um na vida que nunca quis

Somos do primeiro mundo

A ser comprado por terceiro

Eram todos pobrezinhos

Agora são peito cheio

Nossos putos no interior

Vão à escola sem almoçar

Parlamento gasta o tempo

Para o quem puder adotar

Eu assisto a isto tudo

Tenho de manifestar

O desejo e a vontade

Do povo se organizar

Até perco a poesia

'Tou só a verbalizar

Até pareço um cator pimba

Dos que apetece matar

Desses que estão no sistema

De fazer o povo burro

Juntam à nossa senhora

Para ficar mais orelhudo

As valises de cartão

Voltam a sair do armário

O povo votou no credo

E o credo fez dele otário

Arranja taxa aos amigos

Nem que seja a tocar sinos

E não compram iates

Bwoy, compram submarinos

Depois de fazer merda

Ainda vêm fazer birra

E deixam para nós

A tarefa do “faz-te à vida”

Querem te apanhar

Sem teres feito nada p’ra fugir

Não querem que queiras cá ficar

Mesmo sem vontade de partir

Eles querem te afastar

Querem-te mandar p’ra outro país

Menos um aqui a contestar

Mais um na vida que nunca quis

Bezegol - Fora de lei

Andam-nos a tentar enganar,

aldrabar a roubar, eu sei.

Será que nos vamos aguentar

ou virar uns fora da lei?

É sentires que o teu tempo,

não vale o teu sustento.

É querer olhar de frente

o futuro e o presente

ó senhor presidente.

A multidão num cinema mais um imposto se aproxima

Quantos mais lá virão até eu acabar esta rima.

Comprima o orçamento que já não é nada

e mande a criança p'rá escola com um copo d'água.

Ó pai tramado o que nos está a acontecer?

Tanta glória passada e tanto lixo a aparecer.

Mas vamos explicar à proxima geração,

os espinhos que vivemos cravos da revolução.

Andam a brincar com a nossa vida à tanto tempo

agora são discursos de pesar e de lamento.

Tento, mas eu não me aguento

a ganhar quinhento com uma vida de seiscento.

Tudo tem aumento menos os salários,

são assembleias a fazer de nós otários.

Venham mais salafrarios, chulos aldrabões

quando o mar bate na roxa quem se lixa é os mexilhões.

Andam-nos a tentar enganar,

aldrabar a roubar, eu sei.

Será que nos vamos aguentar

ou virar uns fora da lei?

É sentires que o teu tempo,

não vale o teu sustento.

É querer olhar de frente

o futuro e o presente

ó senhor presidente.

ET

No, it does not stands for Extra-Terrestrial life...

So, I've had these for a while now, but last week, during what was my first ever job interview, with the very owner of an enterprise from London, it happened again, and I felt ashamed at that moment, and the more I try to stop it, the worst it gets, so today I decided to google it, and the result was Essencial Tremor.

Another for my collection... When will this stop? How can I stop it?
Its like, I can see the tunel, but I can see the end of it, I can only imagine it. And it is tiring.

Oh, and anemia, just to spice things up...

Desireless - Voyage Voyage

Au-dessus des vieux volcans, glisse des ailes sous les tapis du vent
Voyage, voyage, éternellement.
De nuages en marécages, de vent d'Espagne en pluie d'équateur
Voyage, voyage, vole dans les hauteurs
Au-d'ssus des capitales, des idées fatales, regarde l'océan.

Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) dans l'espace inouï de l'amour.
Voyage, voyage sur l'eau sacrée d'un fleuve indien (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) et jamais ne reviens.

Sur le Gange ou l'Amazone
Chez les blacks, chez les sikhs, chez les jaunes
Voyage, voyage dans tout le royaume.
Sur les dunes du Sahara, des îles Fidji au Fuji-Yama
Voyage, voyage, ne t'arrête pas.
Au-d'ssus des barbelés, des coeurs bombardés, regarde l'océan.

Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) dans l'espace inouï de l'amour.
Voyage, voyage sur l'eau sacrée d'un fleuve indien (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) et jamais ne reviens.

Au-d'ssus des capitales, des idées fatales, regarde l'océan.

Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) dans l'espace inouï de l'amour.
Voyage, voyage sur l'eau sacrée d'un fleuve indien (voyage voyage)
Voyage (voyage) et jamais ne reviens.
Voyage, voyage plus loin que la nuit et le jour.

Time

Rough times these ones... Harsh to assemble...


Ain't nothing to...
Consciousness...
Clarity...
Meditation...
Restfulness...
Breath in... Breath out...
Go so sleep, forget about today, tomorrow is coming...

Vida e morte são de extrema importância.

Tenho seguido umas "talks" budistas.
A da semana passada chamou-se "Vida e Morte são de extrema importância".

E tudo o que eu não disse e meditei foi:

"Death is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal."

— Eckhart Tolle (born in 1948)
Spiritual teacher and author

Still, forever, will this sentence calm me down.

"When you walk through a forest that has not been tamed and interfered with by man, you will see not only abundant life all around you, but you will also encounter fallen trees and decaying trunks, rotting leaves and decomposing matter at every step. Wherever you look, you will find death as well as life.

Upon closer scrutiny, however, you will discover that the decomposing tree trunk and rotting leaves not only give birth to new life, but are full of life themselves. Microorganisms are at work. Molecules are rearranging themselves. So death isn’t to be found anywhere. There is only the metamorphosis of life forms. What can you learn from this?"

Low - Lullaby

cross over and turn

feel the spot don't let it burn

we all want we all yearn

be soft don't be stern

lullaby

was not supposed to make you cry

i sang the words i meant

i sang

I think I like bass a lot.

Tipp-ex

I have been having these dreams where I'm studying or writting something, and my Tipp-ex ends, not letting me finish cover-up what I mistakenly wrote. I keep having this dream, and everytime I pick my Tipp-ex to use it in real life, I remember the feeling in the dream of not having more correction tape.
I googled the meaning, but I couldn't find any.
If this was metaphore, I would say I trying to rewrite something and something is not letting me... But what?

When accepting can't be an option.

Last week was a hard one.
Noted.

HOW TO DESTROY ANGELS - BBB

Get down

On the ground

Don't move, make a sound

No more

No control

You do what you're told

Stand up

Sit back down

Your lies

Comes back around

Today

Patronized

Times up

Close your eyes

Listen to the sound of my big black boots

Milk milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made.

Leis portuguesas e a sua estupidez

Será possível que andarmos para trás como o burro do Zé Vaz?
Adopção e casamento homossexual? Aborto? Mas quem raio é que esta gente pensa que é para dizer o que as pessoas podem ou não fazer só porque têm escolhas diferentes! Cambada de panhonhas!

Motherhood comes so natural to me

...p

I wrote a long post about parenthood, but I decided to refrain to the above title.

Castelo n'areia

A vida é complicados. E as escolhas somos nós que as fazemos, seja optar por um novo emprego, um novo amigo ou um novo país. Seja qual for a escolha, quando está tomada, é final.

Hoje o dia foi complicado, foi longo, foi cansativo, foi frustante.
Hoje o dia foi como uma ida a praia. Passei o dia a construir lindos castelos de areia para toda a gente se maravilhar, às vezes uma onda vinha e fazia uma parede ou duas cair, mas eu não desistia, refazia tudo outra vez. Chegou o final do dia e a mare subiu, levou todos os castelos de uma só vez.
Amanhã não me apetece ir construir mais castelos nenhuns...

You are only as amazing as you make yourself

Os ultimos dias de 2015 fizeram de mim uma coisa crescida.

Com o carro do emprego, insignia de 2012, fiz uma viagem da capital do pais para a segunda maior cidade do pais, rebentei um pneu, não entrei em panico, mudei o pneu, e segui a minha viagem de 3h rumo ao meu destino, às 23h, na pior tempestade que ja vi. Dois dias depois fiz a mesma viagem de regresso. Não morri, nem ninguem morreu. Conduzi pela primeira vez para dentro e para fora da capital de um pais (que nao o meu) sem me perder nem panicar.

You are only as happy as your saddest kid. You are only as strong as you make yourself to be.