sábado, 29 de junho de 2013

Out to not be a mom I

Go and try to go out with the kid:
- Where is your other shoe?
- Where is your hat?
- Where is your jacket?
- Where is your snack-box?
- Where is your botle?

Where that fuck do these people put things?

Out to not be a mom.

Like, if your au-pair is working her ass off 10h a day, including  the fucking Saturday, when all her friends are enjoying the weekend, and than you even ask her to babysit at night, like if you don't miss your kid at all, don't came home at lunch time, smoke a cigarette and give the kid and ice cream before he eats the fucking lunch I made for him, and go back to work, leaving the kid crying because he wants is mommy, because he doesn't wants to eat the fucking lunch, and because he wet is pants with the ice scream that you fucking gave him. Where is the respect?
Hey, I'm the young here, it should be me fucking things up, since I'm not the real mom here!

Oh lord, give me love, for my patience is going away...

sexta-feira, 28 de junho de 2013

Amor de Poema

«tem muito de dantesco» com
e sem inferno. limpa
a voz:
«tem muito de comédia»
enquanto como,
para evitar mýthicos erros e
permanências indesejadas,
deus. acreditas que todas as noites
adormeço com um nome nos lábios
e não é uma prece? a beatitude é muito
menos subtil que uma rocha.



Eu poderia realmente apaixonar-me por ti...

Yes I miss you.

By now it would be expected that I'd miss Coimbra, that I'd miss things back in Portugal, but the truth is that I don't.
I don't miss Coimbra. I don't miss Portugal.
Yes I miss my family and friends. Yes I miss the fire station.Yes I miss.
But I miss a lot of things that I know what I will never have again, like my family and friends in Germany, and all the good moments we shared, the amazing trips that I went on.
So yes, I miss a lot of things, but now, I'm focusing on not missing anything here before it is to late and I miss them for real.

quarta-feira, 26 de junho de 2013

Vitruvio

What is going on?
I don't understand, and my problem is that I don't give up on my dreams, because otherwise, I would have let go of you a long time.
And now I'm making someone fall in love for me. That is not nice, because I know I don't love him, and I know I'm going to hurt him. And I do not want to hurt none. I just want to have fun while I can, and love.
Always the same problem with Vish, she falls for the wrong one, and the right ones fall for her.

domingo, 23 de junho de 2013

Heart collector

Somedays it is raining but I believe in the sun.
Somedays good people died and bad people win.
Somedays I just don't know in what to believe anymore. If to keep on believing in Love, that has been saving me for a few years now, or if not to believe in anything at all, just give up, and let my heart go back to black again...

The problem

Those are the moments that make you question about what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy.
It took less than one month for this small family to make me cry. I will never forget this.
I will never forget the feeling of  not having a place to sleep on a cold rainy night.
The question keeps on going in my head, should I stay, be strong and  fight this, or should I just leave, forget about this place and this people and get back to my normal life?
Of course I'm going to stay, like a grown-up, talk face-to-face, like a grown-up, face my problems, like a grown-up, and figure this shit out, like a grown-up.

sábado, 8 de junho de 2013

The life of an Au-pair

Me and the other 15 Au-pair on this small village are thinking about writing a book about Au-Pairing.
We would have horror Au-pair stories, advices for the au-pairs, advices for the host families, what things to do and not to do, out to organize things over, advices about minding kids.
Things that we think useful for the next ones after us, and it is always good to go do things with them and talk about our kids and host families and share experiences and ideas. :)

terça-feira, 4 de junho de 2013

Au-pair

It is time to start talking.
Every family has its good things and bad things.
This one is way smaller than the Luso-Fin one, but it is very different, in so many ways.
And for me, it is always a matter of adaptation. Step out of the comfort zone. Get out of the box.
Luso-fin family had two parents and 3 kids. They were vegetarian, very eco, very organized, and had conscience about the world.
This family is just mother and son. They eat very badly (in part because of the irish culture, the americans of europe), they are not eco at all, not organized at all, and the world, its a completely different place for them.
I'm going to try to teach some stuff. Starting by recycling.
I don't know, to be an Au-pair looks to other as an easy job, but is always a hard psychological management.
It is not like living with parents, where you might do what you like.
You can not get up at 3am and go bake apple pies, nor do you feel like doing it.
There is no real privacy, no real liberty, no real love, no real appreciation, and it seems that everything is always going wrong.
Should I make him eat healty, eat veggies, eat right, at the table, with no tv, or should I let him do has he wants, eat pizza and sweets, in the sofa, watching tv?
First one is what mother wants me to do, second one is what mother does.
Hmm, either way, the result is always bad to me.
Right now my head hurts a lot.

I talked on the phone with my mother yesterday, and she said "if you don't want to be there, tell me, I'll send you money and you came back, no problem dear", and that made me think, "is this really what I want to do?". 3 month are nothing, but this kids cries for everything and for nothing, and doing things that go against my thoughts it is not doing me any good.

sábado, 1 de junho de 2013

Heaven

After a crazy week, here I am, for an amazing summer :)